Is your workplace toxic?
Here are the signs – and a few ways bosses can be better
Toxic work environments don’t always openly slap you in the face with negativity. Instead, they get under your skin over the course of months through small but growing hostilities.
At first, you give people the benefit of the doubt. Your manager was short with you about what time you came into work. Well, she has a lot of pressure on her from her boss. Your colleague doesn't respond to your messages about a task. Must be super busy. Someone on another team is really difficult to work with, but it’s just his personality.
After a few months of these interactions, you might start feeling some unpleasant and persistent emotions like:
Anxiety - Every time your manager messages you to say “let me know when you have a minute” or drops an invitation into your calendar for a “quick chat,” you wonder if you did something wrong and you’re in trouble.
Anger - Your colleagues don’t want to play ball and you’re sick of it. Why do you have to do all the work everyone else avoids? Why is your manager taking credit for your work? Why do you have to track your activities all day so leadership can “keep an eye on things”?
Numbness - If you’re not angry or anxious, you’re numb. You expect your colleagues to be rude. You expect your manager to find something to criticize. You expect to miss your targets because they’re set too high. At this point, you just don’t have the energy for a can-do attitude.
I’ve felt all of these things in past jobs and I’ve tried to communicate that there’s a problem. I tell my manager what’s happening and what the team needs to perform better.
My manager would go to her boss and explain what the problem is. Her boss would go to his boss, and so on. Finally, the head of my department tries to talk to the CEO or COO but they won’t make time to meet with them. They have bigger worries, like profit. Any attempt to fix the problems on my team is dead in the water.
When you work in a toxic workplace, you hear insincere promises from the C-level and HR that things are about to change, spring is around the corner, we just need to get through this month, this quarter, this fiscal year first.
Before you know it, it’s been a year and you realize that you’ve been living in a barren winter landscape the whole time.
You start to get this feeling that, maybe, just maybe, your leaders are doing this to you on purpose.
How to know if you work in a toxic culture
If any of this sounds a bit too familiar, you’re probably working in a toxic company culture – or at the very least, for a toxic manager. Anxiety, anger, and numbness aside, there are a few clear signs that your company culture is toxic. Here are just a couple common ones:
Managers don’t trust their employees
Do you have a manager who needs to know when you’re at your desk, what time you started working, how long you took for lunch, and when you clocked out for the day?
Are you managed solely based on task completion like: making 40 sales calls today or filling out a spreadsheet with updates on your activities?
When you call in sick, does your manager and HR rep immediately ask you for proof? Even before asking if you’re okay?
It’s hard to schedule PTO
When you send in a request for paid time off, does it frequently get rejected? Is the reason always something like: we’re too busy, we need you here, you need to sacrifice for the team?
Has approved PTO ever been revoked? Have you been guilted into canceling your time off or cutting it short? Are you expected to respond to messages while you’re on PTO?
Employees don’t stick around long
Is your company a revolving door for employees? What is the average tenure for first line workers? How about for managers? Are senior leaders jumping ship?
Is your company always hiring because “it’s so hard to find good people these days”?
Only the political succeed
Do you have to be the VP’s favorite in order to get a promotion or raise?
Is merit actually part of those decisions? Or do hard workers get stuck in the same role forever because they’re the workhorse of the team?
Is gossip a big problem in your office? Is HR participating in this gossip?
Motivation comes in the form of threats
Do you feel like you have to walk around on tiptoes to avoid the wrath of management? Are performance plans frequently used as a threat?
Does your manager say things like, “I can fire you at any time”? When you leave the office do you feel a combination of relief and anxiety that you made it through one more day?
It’s possible to change a toxic culture
BUT ONLY if everyone is onboard with this change including the CEO, all levels of managers, and frontline workers. It’s a lot easier to say you support a culture change than it is to actually act.
This section is for all you bosses and managers out there in the audience.
Instead of putting it off for months or pawning it off to someone else (who you then don’t listen to), you probably need to hire a consultant that specializes in diversity, equity, inclusion, belonging, and culture. It’s a big project and it’s okay to ask for help.
No matter how you go about tackling this problem, you have to accept one simple truth:
You must TRUST your employees to do their jobs without supervision.
Your employees are adults. People who are skilled in delivering the service you hired them to do. That means they went to a university and earned a degree, or they apprenticed and went to trade school, or they learned on the job throughout their career.
Flip the script
Here’s an exercise for you. I’ve listed some common issues that happen in a workplace.You can respond in a toxic way or in a trusting way. Which response sounds most like you?
An employee calls in sick and says that they’ve tested positive for COVID, had an accident, or are suffering from a medical condition today.
TOXIC: The manager and HR rep ask for proof with a doctor’s note or say that the employee is obligated to come in anyways because they’re on the schedule. Otherwise, the employee can expect a warning.
TRUSTING: The first words out of anyone’s mouth when they find out someone is unable to work should be, “are you okay?” Ask if they need anything and what you can do to help. Tell them that you hope they get well soon.
An employee makes a mistake or something goes wrong.
TOXIC: Jump to conclusions about how the employee was irresponsible, lazy, or stupid. Tell them that if they don’t fix this right away, there will be hell to pay.
TRUSTING: Before saying anything else, ask the employee to explain what happened. Find out if they have a solution in mind and how you can fix the problem together. Many problems are out of your employees control, don’t blame them just because you can.
You need something from your employees.
TOXIC: Message them saying that you need a task done ASAP. Stop responding when the other person asks clarifying questions. Never say thank you or even acknowledge that this person helped you with your work.
TRUSTING: Ask if anyone can help you come up with a solution to your problem. Communicate what you need clearly and be responsive. When they answer your question, thank them for their time and tell them you appreciate them.
It’s time for annual performance reviews.
TOXIC: Find something the employee doesn’t do well, even if it’s small. Make the performance review about this particular shortcoming. Explain that you can’t give them a raise or promotion because they need to fix this issue first or because “the business can’t afford it right now.”
TRUSTING: Acknowledge everything that your employee has contributed to the business in the last year. Talk about what they can improve on but understand that no one is perfect and we can’t fix all of our flaws. GIVE THEM THE RAISE OR PROMOTION. In fact, institute regularly scheduled bonuses and spot bonuses to show your gratitude all year long.
An employee submits a request for a few days off in the near future, or for a couple of weeks PTO in about a month or so.
TOXIC: Ask them what you’re supposed to do when they’re out because you’re short staffed. Tell them that you can’t approve it. Make them find someone to cover their shifts while they’re out. Plan on emailing and calling them throughout their time off to ask them questions.
TRUSTING: Grant PTO requests. The employee is either legally or contractually owed those vacation days and deserves time away from the office. Help them find someone to cover their shift. Institute a rule that no one bothers the employee with questions while they’re on vacation.
Trust as the foundation
I don’t know if all toxic bosses are capable of changing the way they manage. They might not have flexed their empathy skills for many years. They may truly believe that everyone is out to get them, and their employees are going to screw them over.
But new businesses are started every single day. These new CEOs and new managers get to decide what type of leader they want to be. These people have the chance to create a positive work culture that results in a productive and successful business.
Employees stay with companies that care about them as people, that understand that they’re human beings with problems, responsibilities, and loved ones outside of the office.
After a while, employees might get the feeling that their boss respects them as a human being and values their contributions to the company.