Wellness Programs, Self-Care, and What Employees Really Want
Hint: it’s not yoga, meditation, or team sharing sessions
Harvard Business Review published an article last month titled, Stop Framing Wellness Programs Around Self-Care. This definitely caught my attention and I was excited to learn about newer, better ways to build a wellness program. I was hoping to read about how companies can expand wellness programs to be more effective and provide impactful support to employees.
Unfortunately, that’s not what I got. Like many HBR or New York Times articles that talk about workplace organization and psychology, this article was out of touch. That’s because the conclusion relies heavily on research and anecdotes from professors working at university business schools.
They talk about workplace culture and environments regarding fields that they have no experience in like healthcare, finance, technology, and manufacturing. Pretty much the definition of being in an ivory tower, with no practical understanding of the real emotions and physical stress of working in the corporate world.
I want to break this article down and call out the unrealistic expectations and solutions that rely not on experience, but on thought exercises. Most importantly, I’ll discuss how these articles skip the most important part of any solution – the feedback of the employees who are actually looking for more out of their wellness programs.
The ivory tower view
This HBR article started out with some useful insight into why framing wellness programs around self-care is problematic. Namely, that the focus on self care puts the onus of dealing with a stressful workplace solely on the individual.
“many corporate wellness programs have focused on supporting self-care — gym memberships, meditation apps, or even paid time off. As researchers who study employee well-being, resilience, and psychological health, we applaud the genuine concern. However, we are also increasingly concerned that the emphasis on self-care may undermine, rather than support, employee wellness.”
Ignoring how they seem to think paid time off is above and beyond what companies should provide and their belief that companies are being genuine, they make a good point about how wellness programs can undermine the very purpose that they purport to serve.
“When organizations offer individual solutions, it can send the message that employees are on their own when it comes to their mental health.”
I agree that centering employee wellness programs only around self-care gives the impression that people who are struggling physically and mentally with work stress need to resolve things on their own.
I’ve worked at companies that offered self help tools as part of their wellness programs and some people get a lot of value out of them. But when an employee is overwhelmed with work responsibilities, it’s not realistic, or helpful, for them to take time out of their day for a company yoga or meditation class.
When I was feeling the most burn out, I just wanted to get as far away from work as I could. No thank you to morning exercise classes with my colleagues. The article continues on with their research-based solution, suggesting that businesses should take a more communal approach.
“Frame adversity as belonging to the collective…acknowledge and help one another process the emotional fallout from adversity. In doing so, they distribute the strain across members so that no one person becomes isolated or overwhelmed.”
The researchers then shared how this would work “in the real world” using an example of a team of adventure cyclists.
“For example, when one biker careened off the side of a mountain, his teammates found him hanging from a tree, with his bike dangling below. By creating a human chain down the hillside they were able to pull him and his bike back up.”
This is a very silly example. And honestly, condescending. If your colleague was in danger of falling to their death, of course, everyone should do what they can to save them. Also, call 911! But this has nothing to do with real work stressors. Could you imagine trying to make a human chain with your teammates who come in all shapes and sizes? I’m not convinced this would work in any scenario, even with athletic bikers.
“In contrast, when teams viewed adversity as something to be coped with individually, members became isolated with their own pain, fear, or anxiety. They stopped communicating, became more physically and socially distanced, and, in most cases, team functioning declined, often leading to mistakes and increased adversity.”
Yes, feeling isolated in adversity will lead you to withdraw from your colleagues and increase feelings of stress. It’s always nice to work with a team that can help you carry the extra load when you’re buried in work.
But, that doesn’t mean that the whole team should concern itself with every problem of every individual. Mistakes will happen, even when someone is in peak mental and physical condition. We can be resilient and push through occasional hard times. The problem is when those hard times never end.
Overstepping boundaries
The scene has been set. Stress at work causes adversity, too much of a focus on self care puts pressure on employees to solve problems individually, and we need a solution. I’ll say right now, the solution HBR presents is misguided.
“Create and foster relational pauses:
Practically speaking, a relational pause is a temporary, often brief, break from ongoing task work, in which people are invited to ask and answer the question, “How is our work affecting us as human beings? It is a discussion with a purpose: to surface and acknowledge the emotional reality of work that might otherwise be ignored, and to actively help group members engage productively with that reality.”
The article continues to explain how relational pauses give team members the chance to talk about their frustration, sadness, and hopefulness. By doing this, colleagues will want to share their authentic selves and feel less ashamed of their feelings.
This solution is too woo woo for me (and I don’t mind a little woo woo in the office). For these researchers, who have control of the variables in their university study, I guess this can make sense. But, again, this is not reality and not what employees want.
Why would I want to tell my colleagues my feelings? Those are private. I don’t need everyone to know about my struggles, insecurities, and mental state. If I have friends at work I trust, I’ll talk to them. But do I want to tell my teammates about my doubts and fears? Absolutely not. We won’t all agree on what is professional or appropriate to talk about in the workplace anyways.
Not only is it unrealistic to ask people to share their private feelings at work, but it’s unfair to make everyone part of the solution. Employees have kids to pick up from school, pets they need to feed, hobbies they want to pursue, or just want to relax. Why would they want to take time out of their work day for this and potentially push their departure time back by 30 minutes?
The instructions for relational pauses includes:
“Ask what people are experiencing, focusing first on getting them to simply tell their stories — what happened and how it is impacting them — and encouraging others to listen. Also avoid jumping to problem-solving and solutions…Praise people who demonstrate vulnerability and who show compassion — and make sure you are role-modeling non-judgmental listening.”
I can’t think of something more embarrassing than having my team director say to me, “good job on showing your sadness today.” That’s not our relationship. Unless you work with a team of therapists, no one is qualified for this type of conversation.
This reminds me of a scene in the 2000s British show, IT Crowd, where the company owner, Denholm Reynholm, declares a war on stress. In order to combat stress in the workplace, he proclaims, “Anyone still experiencing stress at the end of the day... will be fired!”
Forced conversations about vulnerability are pretty dystopian. In a 2021 Slate article, Alison Green, who created the popular series, Ask a Manager, shared what she has heard from employees:
“This seemed bizarrely invasive and a huge overstep of workplace boundaries. There’s no reason my employer needs to know anything about my emotional or spiritual well-being.”
Talking out our feelings at the office can not solve a toxic workplace culture. As another person who reached out to Ask a Manager said:
“Work is by far the most significant stress in my life, because the organization is not well managed, roles/assignments are unclear, and some staff work glaringly harder than others with no one ever held to account for failing to produce…To protect my mental health I’ve been working on creating a mental wall where I ignore what everyone else is doing or not doing except for my direct reports… These “mental health sharing sessions” break down this (sadly fragile) wall and I end up dwelling on negative thoughts and feelings again.”
When employers attempt to create these kumbaya moments, without asking if employees even want them, they put people on the spot and frankly, it’s inappropriate. HBR’s attempt at fixing a problem in this article is just bad advice for business leaders.
In reality, employees have already told you what they want: more compassionate workplace culture, realistic deadlines, and respecting people’s work/life balance. You can’t improve wellness without addressing these issues.
How employers can actually improve wellness
So if using metaphors about saving colleagues who careened off mountain tops and taking daily breaks to talk about our fears and worries isn’t the answer, what is? It’s not more communal feelings sessions and it’s not a discount for a gym membership.
Personal problems are complex, unique, and PERSONAL. Ask your employees what they want and give it to them. They need access to the things that can actually help improve their wellness and reduce stress, not additional work that takes them away from getting things done and going home.
Supportive culture comes from supportive options
When an employee is drowning in work, dropping the ball on their performance, and so stressed that it’s affecting their mental and physical wellbeing, they want a plan, not platitudes.
Take the initiative, with feedback from your workers, to put together plans to help improve performance. When someone approaches their manager and says, I’m struggling, managers should have easy access to step by step solutions.
These steps must include:
An assessment of their current workload
Removing non-critical tasks temporarily
Assigning a mentor who can shadow and offer help
Review of PTO, mental health days, and leave of absence options
Documentation that explains what medical care, like therapy, is available through health insurance plans
Documentation that outlines benefits like childcare, parental leave, grief counseling, exercise reimbursements, and Health Savings Accounts
Most importantly, THE ABILITY TO PRIVATELY DECIDE WHAT THEY NEED
Make it easy for anyone to address workplace stress, so they can hopefully avoid serious wellness issues entirely.
All employees should have access to:
Schedule and location flexibility to work around things like caregiving obligations or medical limitations
Respect personal time off. Your employees earned the time off, they don’t need to ask permission to use that time. Accept when people need to be out of the office, don’t contact them, and let them get away from work
Easy to understand, step by step guides on how to access different types of medical care through available health insurance plans. For example, how to submit bills for reimbursement, how to access user portals to find specialists, how to understand coverage and out of pocket costs
Extended time off for grief and funeral attendance. Don’t tell your employees who is important and who isn’t when it comes to grief leave. Whether an employee lost a child, a pet, a friend, it’s none of your business.
Self care is not just about mindfulness and exercise. It’s about having paid time off to address challenges. It’s about respecting employees’ privacy. It’s about simplifying complex processes so that employees can recover and get back to work.
Don’t tell employees what self care should look like. Allow them to address self care in the way that works for them.
Well written and very interesting, Tahera! Thanks for pondering this stuff and bringing out into the world.